Saturday, March 15, 2014

Hello 2014

It's been around nine months since my last post. I do apologize to the people who pop by to check out my blog.

I've been on a different course in the last year. I became a real performer last year. I was booked to dance in night clubs and some red carpet events that had nothing to do with strip clubs. I entered my first pole fitness competition earlier this month. I went home with a bronze medal.

Now I have accomplishments and I really don't know what to do with them. If I keep competing, I may have to chill out on my blog. It takes a lot of time and energy to compete. There is also the fact that 'pole fitness performers' really frown upon club dancers. Even if it's from their past.

I must admit I'm in a bit of quandry.

I also haven't worked as a dancer since Janurary. For the first time since I can remember, I'm not sure if I want to go back. It's not about my look. Since training,I'm in the best shape I've been in for years. I think it may be the scent. Yes, the bathroom in the club I work in smells like a non ventilated taco stand.

As much as I love pole performing, the fact that a lot of my co-workers use copious amounts of body oil and lotion for the bodies and then rub it all over the pole, really scares the crap out of me! Accidents aching to happen.

I suppose I'm lucky to have such problems as not being able to make up my mind where I want to work. Especially with our 'new world order', economically speaking.

This will only last for so long. I really should make up my mind soon.

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Location:The Unurban Cafe

Monday, June 24, 2013


I'm actually at the Unurban once again. It's been a strange week since I quit the Classy Lady the other day. I did have a wonderful time performing with the pro aerial ladies in Hermosa Beach last

(Me and my friend & talented dancer Cat Cheng).

(Also there is an angry guy who is swearing at his computer sitting across the room from me. I can hear him loud and clear. This is not cool. I may have to finish this at home:-(

I did have an interesting audition today at an interesting little club called Burlesque. It's very deceiving from the outside. Very run down, parking sucks. But once inside, the place was dark, but spacious and very, very clean. It actually smelled clean! The vibe was very old school classy, like gentleman's club out of the 70's. Upper class mature, not trendy. This is a bikini bar. I don't believe the dancers were ready yet, as I didn't see any.

I spoke with the manager. He liked my look,which was cool. I was dressed to go teach a girl a pole lesson. She had to cancel, so I was in yoga pants and minimal make up and a nice blown out pony tail.

Here's the catch: he hires 'career dancers'. He wants you to work the minimum of 4 days a week. He demands this of all of his dancers. He said he was willing to go to 3 for me, yet he has no day shift on the weekends.
He said he really caters to his clientele. He says that if a client calls and asks if a girl is in, he wants to be able to accommodate that person with that dancer.

I really admire this. A guy with a solid business ideal. This won't work for me, but it was nice to end the interview on a positive note. He caught up with me outside (probably to check me out in natural light due to my advanced age:-) He was very polite and all smiles. Good for him.

I feel good today because I actually have an idea for a small business that just might work. More of that later.

I still owe you guys some stories of my past.

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Location:North Hollywood

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Losing It!

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The Unurban again.

I managed to walk out and quit a club that I have been working in off and on since I moved to LA on Tuesday. This will be short. After having a great weekend and a solid class on Monday, I walked into work finding out that I was the only dancer working. For the entire shift! Ok,I can deal if I pace myself. Customers came in. But only a couple voluntarily tipped me or even looked at me:-( I was doing my usual bomb show: pole tricks that nobody else does, booty poppin', smiling, saying hello. But no. Did. Not. Work.

Then the bartender gets on stage. She is not one of the finer bartenders. She is a nice lady, but so am I. But she is out of shape, over weight, old (I am too, but I take care of my stuff), I think she wears a wig (she's white), she's a cancer survivor with reconstructed breasts( brutally so). But she banks. So I go up after her. NOTHING! One guy was talking to me but didn't put anything on stage. I finally just asked if I was really that hideous? Finally one guy puts a couple of bucks up there. I lost it, was in tears, walked off.

Perhaps I'm over sensitive, but I was the ONLY dancer there. No sympathy? I could have just avoided the crowd, rolled around on stage and not speak to anyone. But I chose to put effort into my show, smile and say Hi to each one. Apparently, my attractiveness level in this run down club is in the toilet. (The one all the smoking dancers smoke around). I may have insulted the bar tender in a back handed way. I'm sorry she was hit with breast cancer. I'm not saying I'm better than her because I'm healthy. But am I not at least as nice as her? As attractive?

Apparently not. I was going to leave anyway because the staff and dancers smoke in the building with no ventilation.

Location:The Unurban in Santa Monica

Monday, May 13, 2013


I'm at a local cafe today called The Unurban Cafe in Santa Monica. It's really hot day. This place is so naturally dark and cavernous. Seems like it's 20 degrees cooler than my apartment.
I finished my last posting mentioning a dancer called Tess. I actually met her while I was still living at the 'beach'.

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(^This is part of The Unurban, btw. Never used this feature before, so I'm not sure how to place it).
Tess was tall, thin, fair, gorgeous and had a wild energy. Not sure how we connected so well. She must have sensed my misery and insecurities. She was sort of hiding from an abusive boyfriend. So, she would stay with me on the nights I worked late. She slept out on the beach and would hide when the Bobs got up to go to work. She was kind of manic and really liked to clean a lot. Since I hate doing that, she was great to have around.

Some time during our friendship, I got offered a gig to do a little striptease for a guy's birthday. This was for a mixed crowd. Just a little bikini show.
I invited Tess to go with me, so she could help me with the little details. I offered her a bit of pay to go with me. She was motivated.

When I arrived at my destination, the lady who hired me was a pretty, friendly blond around 30. She was very nice and helpful. After I did my dance for this lady's friend, she invited Tess and I to hang out and enjoy the party. I was having a nice time, the people were very friendly and full of questions about my profession. Perhaps 20 minutes into the party, the blond asked if she could speak to me privately. I went to talk to her. Apparently, Tess was going crazy in the kitchen. She was opening cupboards, re-arranging items, taking them out, putting them back in. Lather, rinse ,repeat. We left the party because Tess was acting so crazy.

When we got home, she said she was really tired. She ended up sleeping for nearly a day. The Bobs found out about her, so she wasn't allowed to crash there on a regular basis. She was very erratic. I asked her what was bothering her but she never gave me a straight answer.
A short time afterward, I worked an early shift at Richard's Lounge. When I arrived, Tess and Richard were having a huge argument. It was pretty heated. He actually had to throw her out of the bar. From this point on, she became very distant and moody.

A couple of weeks went by and I finally discovered the source of her mania. I walked in on it, actually. I was working with her. There was only one bathroom in the bar for women. It seemed she was in there for an hour. I really had to use the bathroom. I knocked and she wouldn't respond. Finally, I used the door handle, thinking it was probably locked. It wasn't. Tess was shooting up when the door opened. She looked up at me, said she would be done very soon, to please close the door and not tell anybody.
It's such a disarming experience, walking in on someone shooting an illegal substance into their veins. This would happen to me twice more in my lifetime. The third time, I participated. I didn't inject myself, but held on to the substance while two other people injected themselves. You don't really get used to the idea, unless you become one of the 'Train Spotting' set yourself. There is this look about them. It's like they almost become zombies. Zombies with heartbeats and pulses.It's the glazed look of their eyes, the pallor of their skin, a stillness in their demeanor.

I did my fair share of partying over the years, but the Tess Experience was enough to make me never inject myself with anything. I heard Tess went into rehab. There was another beautiful dancer that got clean and was in a relationship with Richard. He was thinking of asking her to marry him. I think her name was Raven. She looked like Snow White with Jessica Rabbit's body. That gorgeous. I don't know how it happened, but she got right back on the' white horse'. She died at 25.

I went to a zombie fashion show/ art exhibit the other night. It was an extreme example, but some of them just looked like addicts of my past.

(Me after the Zombie exhibit/fashion show last Saturday. No far from the addicts of my past)

Location:The Unurban in Santa Monica

Monday, May 6, 2013

Leaving Bob's Beach

(I'm at that awesome cafe again:-)

When I left Bob and his 'beach', luckily I had some money saved. My friend and resident small time cocaine dealer, Steve helped me move. I was going to look for a small cheap studio. Steve said I could save money living in this huge house of post punk posers and artists. I had enough money to rent the master bedroom with a private bathroom. I had met most of the residents before while performing as a real dancer in San Francisco. I had hooked up with Steve when I met them. He was really into me. He was only a friend.

The people I ended up moving in with were Dave, CL (short for Chicken Legs. His name was Michael), Dave's then girl friend Liz and Steve. I was to live there for the next two years. At 26, Steve was the oldest, at 25, I was next. The others were at least 21 but they referred to us as 'Mom & Dad'. This didn't help my already low self esteem. Liz was a really pretty red head and 21. She was a rich girl slumming with us. She and I were never really friends. (Until 4 years later, I ran into her crystal meth used up ass in a bar. She said I must really work hard to take care of myself because there was no way I could be older than her and look the way I did, lol.)

Within that five bedroom, two living room, 4 bathroom household, we only had one land line phone between us. For the first few months there wasn't even an answering machine. This would cause a lot of problems, confusion and missed calls. I bought a machine two months later.

There were two clubs in town at the time that catered to the new wave, post punk crowd. My roomies and I lived for it. I was always looked down upon, fashion wise because my hair was long, wild, frizzy and it was natural. I wasn't skinny like the emaciated or modelesque stereo type. I wanted so badly to fit in. Every Thursday night all the bathrooms in our house were busy for hours; prepping hair, goth make-up, using mirrors to admire ourselves. We lived for Thursday nights.

But that look didn't really fly at work. It was a boom town still in Silicon Valley in the mid 80's. This little club brought in lonley engineers, meth head bikers and other locals. It was very casual. It was just starting to become a glamorous thing to be a dancer. Richard's lounge had an interesting group of dancers working there. There were sisters. Tiny women Tammi & Cathy. They were both under 5 ft. and each had very long hair, a child and lived in a hotel with black guys who were the baby daddys. (That term hadn't been thrown around yet). There were a pair of black sisters; Honesty & Panther. Both tall and attractive. Honesty was a piece of work. So insecure and a moody meth head. There was a tall, attractive Mexican/Indian looking young dancer named Liz who would be there for a long time. She was very quiet and always did her job well. Then there was Tess. Tess was gorgeous. Tall, fair, slender, around 30. For some reason Tess and I connected. Perhaps because she would listen.

I will write more about Tess later .
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Location:King's Cafe

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The Dance Studio

I have to say I do love this little cafe I'm sitting in right now. It's very tiny,King's Cafe. They have two hot baristas who work here. They also own the falafel place next door. You order your food at that place. You can either eat outside or they bring it to you in the cafe. Omar is the night time barista. Great hair! Middle Eastern mix of some sort, but hella nice. The day time guy from last year anyway was a tall,long haired Asian.

The economy has hit my industry bad. I'm going to have to start working more often. Even though, in this business, that doesn't guarantee better income. My home club will let me work more often, but I'll die early working there. (That's the smoky one) I really want to continue with my poling. My goal is to compete next year. They have a masters category which is for 'old bitches' like me. 39 & up. A 62 yr. old won first place this year. She does a couple of very, very impressive tricks that I haven't even learned yet. I figure I better do it next year because of lot of current senior winners (25-39) are pushing 40! That's all I need is to have to compete with Sasha Lee, Rebecca Hennes or Leigh Acosta. (Not that they're all turning forty next year).

Here's the thing: I can't work and take lessons on the same day. There is no way I could make it to my classes on time. Secondly, I just wouldn't have the energy to learn after dancing and hustling all day. I would also run the risk of injuries. I've had my fair share, but unstretched muscles, tight calves from platform heels are a recipe for disaster. Until recently, I was able to afford to just work twice a week, so I could study dance. This is not the case any more. If I quit the studio, I will never, ever again find pole classes for less than $10 a class. ( I pay $100 for 12). I need to keep this going. This place has some of the best instructors in the industry teaching and I can get there by taking side streets.

I've decided to take three classes a week, all in one day. I already know that I can work out three hours a day with no problems. I usually take two classes when I come to the studio. I just don't take them back to back. Unfortunately, I may have to. This means I have to take it really easy the day before so I won't hurt myself. I also need to stretch like crazy before and after. I've proved to myself that I don't have to go cray on the pole at work to gain attention. This was an important lesson for me. My body now thanks me for it.

If I become a title winner next year, that usually means free classes:-)

I'll have more time for friends and writing as well. I just need to find clubs that are a good fit for me, that will have me. I'm not like a Beverly Hills chick, but I do have to do a certain amount of maintenance to look attractive. Maintenance cost money. But I have to be at least kinda hot to make money. Oye! The vicious cycle!
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Location:Sepulveda Blvd,Culver City,United States

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

My Audition Today

(By the way,I'm using an app for the first time to write this post. It's blog press from my iPad. So if it looks a bit different, that's why.
My home club in the valley has had the city they are located in prohibit dancers from smoking outside of the club. They say it makes the neighborhood look bad. is BAD. Therefore, the dancers have to smoke in the bathroom lobby of a tiny club. Also, management has smoked in their little office for years. The bouncers and management can smoke outside. We can't. I ponder this: This is a double standard, mais' no?
Having been away training for the most of the last 3 months, I had grown accustomed to the air in my open home in Santa Monica, the humid but relatively clean air of my dance studio and hanging out in the pretty much smoke free city that I live in.
I went back to work for six hours eight days ago. The second hand smoke was so bad that I had to cancel my dance classes the next night and I still have the remnants of the cough the shs initiated. Plus, the 405 is still giving me a headache, I'm not a fan of the valley and I can use a change of scenery.
A dancer from my smokey home club told me about a little place in Oxnard, CA giving it raves. I called there last week, told them I'd like to audition. They said I could come in during the beginning of the week. I emailed them pics and a recent vid. They actually called me in to work a Friday night! I couldn't make it, but I was flattered.
I decided to make the hike up there today. It is twice as far as my home club, but I was in traffic for about the same amount of time. I would rather be in traffic by the beach then on the icky 405. I was much less stressed when I arrived.
The place was small, the lighting pleasant (not dark and cavernous like my home club). A very cute blond w/ pink ends, Elizabeth, greeted me. She said the managers weren't there. I was a bit disheartened at first, since I told them I would be coming today. There was a misunderstanding: Elizabeth thought I wanted to work, I told her that wasn't the case. She called her superiors and they gave her the ok to audition me. All 3 girls were very attractive. Elizabeth told me I was pretty. The biggest of the 3 girls, Blaze was very friendly. When I got dressed, she said she loved my body and asked about my workout. It has been years since I've had such a friendly reception from women I may end up working with! I'm wondering what the 'catch' is, lol!
I danced, they loved my pole work (I didn't do anything!), the guys throw a little $$ my way, so my lunch and latte were paid for:-) I'm pretty sure I'm hired and I'm not picky about getting weekend shifts. I forgot to ask about tip out or house fee. The girl that recommended me to this place said that we get a wage, but then pay some of it back?? I can't really remember.
Two more girls came in while I was leaving: a thick platinum blond and a very tiny red head. They are all cute and of course younger than me. Way cuter than the girls they have on their site. We'll see what happens. Blaze actually extended her hand to me to shake hands! THAT IS A STRIP CLUB FIRST!!
I'm keeping one day a week for now at the smokey place. There is a place in NoHo that I love working at, but they ask so much $$ from us to work there. I'm always welcomed there and that's a nice thing. If only the $$ was better:-(
The club scene is changing so much in Los Angeles county. I read recently that there is a site in which web cams are inserted on stages and in dressing rooms in certain clubs. The site is shaky now because it's new, but so was myspace, youtube and FB. This is the future.
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Location:W 5th St,Oxnard,United States