I have been busy and so sorry for neglecting my blog. This is not a story about my past, just a short comment on my present.
I've been practicing for an audition I have coming up. This would be for a solo spot in a pole dance recital. I'm so nervous and my knees are really sore.
Why would a woman who has been dancing for 30 years and on a pole for 18, be so nervous? The game has changed. That's why.
It used to be I would be the only one in the club sliding down a pole up-side-down with one leg. This would get all the applause, mouth gapes and $$ from the mostly male audience. These days, you have to be a contender for Cirque du Soleil to not solicit a yawn.
My fave dancer, Anjel Dust, only 3 years ago was winning competitions all over with her knee holds, aishas and spinning side climbs on a static pole. Now knee holds and aishas are common place. I still think her spinning side climb is spectacular. She had to re-learn pole dancing without boots and knee pads because by 2010, she was considered disqualified if she danced in boots!
So, I've learned so much more. Last March it was a 24 yr old and myself that were the top performers of our studio because she could death lay and I could split on the ceiling. She has now surpassed me. She is an instructor. But I knew she would because she is 29 yrs. younger than me. Becoming an instructor, was not my goal, however.
So why am I busting my ass to win a solo? I do solos all the time for a mostly male audience. Because this is a different game. Because it is my legacy. Because it's a challenge. I'm nervous because this audience values artistic talent over sexual appeal. This makes me scared yet carnivorously ambitious. I have to be perfect. I don't get to stop to pick up tips. This is a fierce competition y'all! I got to do it NOW. At my age, I may not get another chance.
I've been really attuned to my fellow advanced level students/contenders. They mostly do the same tricks. Some are more daring than what I can do. But......they don't have the dance, theater or seduction background that I do.
I'm in it to win it. This is why I haven't been writing.
Btw, out of the 100 or so students we have at the studio, did I mention that I have the best abs by far? I've been told this a lot. But my instructor, a famed acrobat that is well versed in trapeze, hoops and lyra as well as pole; told me I had better abs than her last night:-)!!
(And I've got 20 yrs. on her). Wish me luck!