Thursday, February 9, 2012

Youth & Beauty vs. Je Ne Sais Quoi"

(This sort of sucks since I am writing this from my iPad, original generation ).

After three. Months or so of working at The Pink Poodle, I had shed my chubbiness by working out, eating sparsely and unfortunately snorting my way down to a very girlish 93 lbs or so. My unruly hair had grown longer. My breasts kept their perky B cups. (At that time, I was told I had the breasts photographers dreamed of photographing. But this was the early 80's. Implants had not taken over the industry...yet.). I also had 'Brooke Shields' brows, naturally. I was young, but was told that in certain angles and lights , I could pass for 14. (Creepy, I know. But in this business youth helps). I. WAS. CUTE.

I was. I was making decent money,building up a clientele, being responsible and even starting and IRA.

One night, I believe it was a Sunday, there was only a few dancers working. Two of them were much older than me and I was (we're talking needing little make up and being seen in daylight terms) the cutest by far. Iwas following this older dancer (early to mid thirties) called "Carrie". She was tall, blond, skinny, not particularly toned. She wasn't ugly, but you could tell she really liked the sun for a few years and Botox hadn't been invented for facial usage yet (it may have still been the poison a person could have ingested while eating a can of peaches or whatever). So, she wasn't the fresh faced cutie that I was at that time.

But the bitch made money! Me? I had to follow her. I was doing poorly:-(. (Remember, no laps dances here in the summer of '82, only stage sets). I just didn't understand.

There were about 15 of us house girls. I ranked around #3 or 4 out of the bunch. I could have understood if I had to follow the flawless Tia, the very pretty Crystal or the Latin sex bomb Precious.

But this was Carrie. She wasn't a house girl, but an older returning dancer. They introduced her as "The Human Tornado" because she moved so fast. I couldn't believe I was doing so badly. I felt so inferior. So ugly. I went in the back and broke down crying. Dan, the asst. manager found me. He gave me a hug and convinced me that I was not the failure I thought I was. He told me that most of those men were Carrie's regulars. I still didn't get why they would still be into this worn out, older "leather face"! (Btw,I started wearing sunscreen religiously on my face, rain or shine at 22. Trust me, it works. You should see my contemporaries, if they're still around, lol). He told me that her regulars found her sexy and alluring. I still didn't get why. I was so obviously, younger, cuter and in way better shape! (Around this time, the other younger dancer who had been in the business longer than me popped in and proceeded to lecture me on how in was egotistical to think I was better than this dancer, and what was so great about me anyway, et.). So, I started crying again. Dan told Celeste to get lost for a while. He then proceeded to tell me that Carrie made these men feel comfortable, special, sexier or downright horny. He explained to me that it wasn't always about "the pretty". Of course I responded with something like 'then why should I even bother putting on make up, shaving my body, learning how to be graceful,et.  He said I shouldn't neglect myself but just realize that sometimes it just comes down to chemistry and aura.

At the end of the night, I still didn't get it, but I had stopped crying.  In fact for years I didn't get it.  When I went on to work in other clubs, in different states and countries; there was always this somewhat unattractive dancer who banked more than me, consistently.  Se la vie, right?

So, now there is probably some young dancer crying because I'm the old bitch is banking and how could this happen to her because she is way hotter and way younger than me?? (LOL).

(Actually, this did happen when I was dancing with a 17 yr. old with a fake id and I was 25.  She was having a bad day and I wasn't and she couldn't believe it because I was so OLD!.  But she had a baby and although super pretty, her breasts looked like wrinkled, scrambled eggs.  I was "old" but my titties were perky:-)

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